I hate jealousy, I think it is annoying and inconvenient. And yet I can be a very jealous person. It is one of my least favorite qualities about myself. I get very jealous when it comes to people I truly care about. If someone gets in the way of that relationship I get really jealous.
It started way back when I was younger. It was always me and my best friend Tracy. But the minute someone new would come around it would mess up our friendship. I always became the odd girl out. I got jealous about it. So the feeling still continues. Sometimes I destroy friendships to save ones that I find more important. I am ridiculous, I am human.
Currently my biggest jealousy problem lies with my sister Traci’s girlfriend, Tasha. Tasha is an ok person. But not someone I care for. She is lazy and selfish. she tries to take control in all situations, usually it’s not welcome. But my biggest problem with her is that she gets all this time with my family, and I hardly ever get to see them. It bothers me so much. She only works one day a week (lazy), Therefore she gets to spend all this time with Amanda and Connor. Then when Traci is home which isnt much since she works long days, Tasha monopolizes all of her time. I hardly ever see Traci. I hate it so much! I hate that she gets all this time with my family that I don’t get. I hate her for it and it isn’t even her fault. I wish the situation was different. I wish I could drive so I could go spend time with them. Instead I only see them a couple of days a month and I only live about 15 minutes away. I can’t even talk about it with anyone because I am so ashamed of myself for feeling this way. It kills me.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to feel this way. I hate myself for feeling this way. So in the mean time I guess I just try to not feel the way I do. It is tough though, that monster is mgihty strong. I don’t want to be a jealous person because those are the people I can’t stand. So I guess what I am saying is I can’t stand myself.
Kimmys Blog 
Leave a comment